The Bvich Report

Astros Midseason Report Card

2008-07-13T17:56:00.006-04:00

I've thought of analyses like these under much better circumstances than this season. The 2008 version of your beloved Astros are limping into the All-Star break with a record of 44-51, in last place for the first time since, well, I can ever remember. Even when they sucked last season and in 2000, I cannot remember them being in last place at this point of the season. Or ever really.

I do try to be Mr. Bright Side every once in a while though. While the Stros are 13 games out of first place entering the break, they are just 8.5 games out of the Wild Card and only half a game from climbing out of the NL Central cellar. Nothing that 36-10 can't pull off, right?

Anyway, I thought I would go ahead and give some grades out. Unfortunately, I'm probably going to sound more like an asshole calculus professor when grading. There will be no curve.

Disclaimer: I don't live in Houston. Or anywhere near there for that matter. I have seen four games life this year, and only two were at home. I have mlb.tv, but I just can't stare at my computer for 3 hours at a time. If there is any analysis that feels incomplete, it probably is. It wouldn't be if I still lived in Texas.

Offense:
Offensively, the Astros show some flashes of brilliance countered by lessons in futility. Lance Berkman continues his torrid MVP pace hitting .347 with 22 HRs and 72 RBIs. Plus, everyone seemed to forget about Carlos Lee come all star time. Despite having one more RBI than Berkman and one less home run while still hitting .299, he will not be vacationing in the Bronx this week. In addition, Hunter Pence is 3rd on the team in HRs and RBIs and Miguel Tejada, despite the fact that he has been slumpling lately, is still better than Adam Everett.

It isn't all rosy in this department though. Coming in to the season, Michael Bourne and Kaz Matsui were supposed to be the table-setters at the top of the lineup. Bourn is currently hitting .218 with a .273 On-Base Percentage, while Matsui, at $5.5 million a year, isn't doing anything that Mark Loretta wouldn't have done at second base. Plus, J.R. Towles is doing the unthinkable this season, making Brad Ausmus look like a decent offensive player.

Average these together, and you get, well, an average offense. C-

Defense:
Probably the bright spot on the team. The Astros have made the fewest number of errors in the NL with 47. Tejada's range at short is above average, and I can't tell that they are missing Adam Everett that much. Michael Bourn can cover some ground in center as well. I will have to give some points off for Carlos Lee. I saw the only triple hit to left at Minute Maid ever this year. B

Starting Rotation:
This is actually a tough one to grade. Not necessarily just for looking at the numbers though. The numbers are bad, but the question is how to grade against the expectations from the beginning of the season.

There is no doubt that most of the staff is having a subpar year. Nowhere is this more apparent than with Roy Oswalt. Expected to carry the staff this year, Oswalt has fought an injured hip all year while notching just seven wins and a 4.56 ERA. However, the rest of the rotation is not necesarily picking up slack.

Brandon Backe is the only other starter currently on the roster to pitch over 80 innings, coming up with five wins. Shawn Chacon went from throwing every fifth day to throwing his boss on the floor. Wandy Rodriguez has pitched well, but has missed multiple starts due to injury. Runelvys Hernandez and Jack Cassell have filled in for starts here and there, but what can you expect from them.

Of course, I don't think anybody expected the rotation to pitch any better than this. In fact, when Wandy Rodriguez is your number two starter, expectations are low. Therefore, I will give the rotation: C

Bullpen:
There is Jose Valverde. A 3.80 ERA with 24 saves in 25 chances. With the exception of a rocky stretch to start the season, he has been everything that the team hoped for. Chris Sampson has also been a bright spot. Since moving to the bullpen at the end of May, Sampson has given up five earned runs in 25+ innings pitched. In addition to this, Tim Byrdak and Geoff Geary are putting up decent numbers. Doug Brocail should not be a Major League setup man, but is doing okay in that role. Not great, but okay. Rejoice though, because Oscar Villareal was finally placed on waivers, about half a season after he should have been.

My thoughts on the bullpen are the same as the rotation. I didn't buy all the talk at the beginning of the year that it would be a great pen. Outside of Valverde, I didn't see too many strengths. In addition to this, the lack of good starting pitching has led to more innings for the pen. Therefore, I really didn't expect any more than this out of them. C

Coaching:
Finally, somewhere I can pile on. I'm not ready to completely judge Cecil Cooper. He needs more than half a season before I will label him an incompetent manager. I don't think Connie Mack could win with this ballclub. It's hard to make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

That said, when Richard Justice says that players are unhappy with him and pitching coach Dewey Robinson, then something may be wrong in the clubhouse. As far as Robinson is concerned, if your ace goes to a coach not employed by your team for advice, you should be watching out for a pink slip.

Would winning cure this attitude? Probably. But until they do win, I have to assume that players being unhappy with management cannot help a baseball club. D

Summary: I do hate saying this, but I just don't expect a magical run like in '04 or '05. The offense just doesn't click without a work-in-progress at the top of the order, and the rotation just doesn't have the arms. I had always wondered what the Stros would be like without Clemens and Pettitte. I think we are looking at that. I hope I'm wrong, but don't expect a Wild Card berth in '08.

Just for Cari, DC-Baltimore Ballpark Comparison

2008-06-25T09:58:00.004-04:00

So, Cari told me that I needed to post on here.

GO STROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RANGERS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. It was too tempting.

In all honesty, I have no problems with the Rangers. Heck, I even rooted for them on Sunday when they played the Nats.

I guess I should go ahead and throw in there that it was an enjoyable baseball week for me. I headed to Camden Yards on Wednesday with Cari and the DC members of my family to see the Stros play the Orioles. The outcome of the game wasn't very fun, and it was the kind of game you lose when it is not going well, dropping it 2-1 in the 10th inning.

That said, I enjoyed being at Camden Yards. This may be my favorite ballpark (PNC Park in Pittsburgh is also a wonderful ballpark, and the atmospheres at Wrigley and Fenway cannot be beat). The warehouse looming over the playing field provides a wonderful, intimate setting for the game, even if the new Hilton does block some of the view of downtown. The brick and steel construction, as well as the layout of the park, make me feel like I am watching a game in a classic, 80-year-old stadium. Most "retro" ballparks have a few classic features, but you can defintely tell that it is a modern facility. Other than the video scoreboard on the right field wall, which, in my opinion should be a hand-operated scoreboard like at Minute Maid, Camden is a classic ballpark. I'm very excited that I live 30 minutes away from it.

On Sunday, Cari and I headed to the District as we saw the Rangers take on the Nats. The game was enjoyable, with the Rangers scoring 2 in the 8th to break a tie and win 5-3. It was my second time at Nationals Park, Cari's first. We both agreed that we liked Camden Yards better.

Don't get me wrong, it is a nice ballpark. There is just something about it. I do like that it is a retro design, but it doesn't try to feel old. It has good sightlines, nice amenities, a good beer selection and Ben's Chili Bowl. In the middle of the 4th inning, you feel that, if Teddy can pull off an upset in the Presidents' Race, you could be a part of history. It makes for an enjoyable game-watching experience, and I have had a great time at both games I was there.

There is just something it is missing. Nothing really says Washington when I am there. Camden has the warehouse. Boston has the Green Monster. Wrigley has the ivy. In San Francisco, you are along the bay. Houston has a green roof (or a toy train, if you prefer). There is just nothing special about it. Plus, it just feels bigger than other parks, whether it is or not. It doesn't have an intimate, homey atmosphere. Add in the fact that the neighborhood has nothing yet, except some slummy row houses, and I just wasn't feeling it. (The neighborhood part will get better in the next few years, though).

Still a very nice park though. I'm sure everyone is very glad they are not playing in the craphole that is RFK anymore. Or Montreal for that matter.

Besides, even if the ballpark is lacking something, a day at the ballpark is better than, well, pretty much anything.

I Hate Pujols

2008-05-30T08:59:00.002-04:00

I don't really need to write any more after the title, because I think you get the point, seeing as how the only two or three people that will read this are Astros fans. But good Lord, what the hell did we ever do to deserve this?

He is probably the best hitter in the game, I know that. Despite that, he is still Astro Killa Extraordinaire, what with 22 career home runs in Minute Maid Park (I can probably name 5 Astros multi-year starters off the top of my head that don't have that many, and they got to play about 70 more games a year in the park than Albert).

Hitting a home run that scored the game winning run last night didn't hurt either.

I probably should be more pissed off at the fact that that home run was the 16th this year given up by Roy Oswalt. That's 2 more than he gave up all last year. Roy is getting close to qualifying for a singing role in a cheesy commerical for a Mexican chain with those Lima-esque numbers.

But everyone looks for a scapegoat. He is mine. Stop pitching to him. Now, I'm not advocating intentionally walking him with noone and 2 outs in the first. But on second thought, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Especially with the Cardinals lineup who, outside of Pujols, has only slightly more pop than the fearsome Astros duo of Adam Everett and Brad Ausmus.

I just hope it doesn't take too many more of these situations for us to learn. If it is late in a close game, don't ever, EVER throw Pujols a strike. Please. Pretty Please.

How Observant

2008-05-27T21:33:00.002-04:00

Cardinals color commentator Rick Horton tonight, just before a 3-0 pitch by Braden Looper to Lance Berkman:

"This pitch, it's either going to be Strike 1 or Ball 4."

Quite an astute observation. Why can't I watch Brownie and Jimmy D every game?

Memorial Day Baseball? Not in Houston.

2008-05-26T11:55:00.002-04:00

It's a beautiful day in Washington DC. The high today is 78 degrees. There is not a cloud in the sky. Considering this, and the fact that today is Memorial Day and I don't have to go to work, I think it's a great day to go to a ballgame.

Fortunately, I am here. I can go see the Nats play the Brewers and the O's play the Yankees. But if I were back home in Houston, I wouldn't be able to do it. The Astros are off. On Memorial Day.

It's little things like this that make me think that MLB just doesn't have a clue. The Astros played a 4 game series Thursday through Sunday against the Phillies. Then on a national holliday, when absolutely nobody goes to work, the Astros have an off day.

Let's see here. A winning, popular baseball team + nobody going to work + air conditioning = a sellout crowd. Instead of taking Thursday off and having a 4 game series with 4 sellouts, the Astros drew 29,263 on Thursday night. Thats 13,000 less tickets, which means less hot dogs, beers, sodas and souveniers sold. Plus, thousands of fans who were going to watch the game on TV today couldn't.

I'm not sure who is responsible for this. But whether it be MLB or the Astros, Bud Selig or Drayton McLane, somebody just doesn't have a clue. Whether it be alienating fans who want to spend a summer holliday watching baseball, or throwing away thousands of dollars, someone dropped the ball on this one.

Why I Hate (Most) Lawyers

2008-05-21T13:29:00.002-04:00

I could talk about the Astros' sweet win last night, or Hunter Pence's grand slam, Chris Sampson's great pitching performance, or even the fact that I'm proud of the Astros for retaliating to Carlos Lee getting thrown at not once, not twice, but three times in one game.

However, I have an excuse to bitch about something political while keeping it on the subject of sports.

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2008/05/family_sues_little_league_bat.html

THIS IS WHY I HATE (most) LAWYERS!!!!!

Hey, I have a thought, go ahead and sue the ball company too. Why don't you sue the other 12 year old kid who hit the ball? Sue the glove company because the kid couldn't catch the ball. You would probably have a better case if you sued yourselves for allowing the kid to be in the path of the ball.

I feel sorry for the parents and the kid, but this is rediculous. The family should be fined for suggesting such a frivelous lawsuit, as should the lawyer for actually taking this to court.

Road Trip Observations

2008-05-19T11:00:00.003-04:00

Not much substance here, just some observations of the Astros' recent 10 game swing through the Left Coast and Big D.

-As of right now, Lance Berkman is my hero. My man crush. Leading in home runs and second in RBIs? 17 game hitting streak in which he is hitting .545. Almost hitting .400. The guy can go 2 for 5 and his average goes down. I don't think I've ever seen a hotter hitter in my life.

-I don't know about Chris Sampson. That ERA is killer, and he has really only had 2 good starts this season. Josh Muecke has a 3.06 ERA in nine starts at Round Rock. Should he get a shot?

-We still shouldn't give up on Bourne and Towles. They are young. Give them some more time. A month and a half is not a large enough sample size to judge a rookie. Besides, the team is still mashing the ball and winning. If it aint broke, don't fix it. In Bourne's case, as much as I don't want to use the Adam Everett defense, Bourne has been great so far defensively in center. That will be missed if he is pulled.

The 7-3 road trip leaves the Astros 2.5 games behind the Cubs heading into a three-game set with the loveable losers in Houston. Tonights game is on ESPN, so I won't have to jiggle the mouse every 20 minutes while watching. I'm pumped.

2008-05-13T14:08:00.002-04:00

So ESPN had a chat the other day. Here is the description:

THATS DEBATEABLE!
"A month into the season, who do you think the best team in the NL Central is? The Cardinals, Cubs or Brewers?"

Followed by the case for St. Louis, Chicago and Milwaukee. The verdict is that the Cubs will be the last team standing.

http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=20507

I think they're missing a team there. Hint: they currently are in third place in that division, are a game and a half out, have won 9 out of the last 10 and have the best record in the Majors over their last 20 games.

At least Crasnick acknowledged that Astros fans have reason to be happy lately, although he never actually says that they are contenders.

I'm not really sure why seeing this made my blood boil. I really should be used to the national media completely ignoring anything from Houston when we're playing well. I don't even think anyone outside of Harris County knew the Rockets had a winning streak until it hit about 15 or so.

Oh, by the way, I just want to mention that it's good to be back to the whole blogging thing after a 2 year layoff. I just got a job in Washington DC, so the Comeback Kid is inspired by the fact that nobody up here wants to watch/talk about/complain about the Stros, Horns, Rockets, etc. That means you're going to have to listen to me.

Longhorns Lose Brantley

2006-12-20T18:59:00.000-05:00

In a move that is shocking to some, expected by others, Texas' heralded quarterback commitment, John Brantley, switched commitments from Texas to Florida today.

Brantley, the Gatorade National Player of the Year and a native of Ocala, Fl., had been committed to Texas for eight months and had shown no signs of a wavering committment. However, the switch was not surprising, as Brantley's father, uncle and high school coach had played for the Gators, and he had grown up attending Florida games.

On one hand, I really want to wish him well. He is 18 years old, and I don't blame someone for wanting to stay at home.

But on the other hand, I wis him much worse. I know he is just a kid, but obviously high schools do not teach any kids the definition of the word commitment. Mack Brown and the Texas coaching staff had been planning their entire recruiting class around Brantley, mainly because of quotes like:

"I want to end with a very special thanks to coach Brown, coach (Greg) Davis and coach (Gene) Chizik. I won't let you down. Hook'em."

Brantley's commitment caused Mack Brown to turn down Ryan Mallett, the No. 2 quarterback in the nation from Texarkana, because the quarterback position is now full.

So, with some 18 year old's indecision, the Longhorns missed out on two blue chip quarterback prospects.

I hope you enjoy three years on the bench behind Tim Tebow. I pray you receive the same amount of playing time as Ryan Perrilloux. Karma's a bitch.

Carr Not Going to Get It Done in Houston

2006-12-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

Houston Texans' owner Bob McNair is probably hoping right now that he bought Carr insurance.

How about this for a line? 16/28 for 127 yds, 0 TD, 4 INT, 4 Sacks, 4. 4.s yds per pass attempt.

Carr definitely earned the game ball from the New England Patriots' 40-7 win over the Texans. Carr got an assist for giving the Patriots great field position on four drives.

Five years ago, Houstonians thought they were getting a quarterback that could take them to the Super Bowl. One year ago, coach Gary Kubiak said that Carr had the skills to win. Sunday, I can still see what the Texans saw. He has a strong arm and is fairly mobile.

But while Carr does have the physical skills, the number of intangibles he has equals about 0. The guy just isn't smart. Everyone blames his O-line for the sacks. Most of the time Carr is sacked, he actually has plenty of time to throw (at least this season). He holds on to the ball in the pocket too long, afraid to throw it away. Amazing that he can think that as many times as he has had an O-lineman help him up.

Carr is still the first and only quarterback I have ever seen throw the ball away after he had crossed the line of scrimmage. I've seen QBs throw to receivers, but I've never seen one throw the ball out of bounds after crossing the line of scrimmage. And Carr did that twice in the same game last week against the Titans.

In addition, he is just not a leader. The fight has already left the dog in Houston, and I think it did last season. I've never seen Carr disappointed about a bad play (amazing considering how many he has had). He does not inspire anyone else on his side of the ball to play with any kind of intensity. The offense sleepwalks. No leadership causes the offensive line to not block as hard and not create a push. No leadership causes receivers to drop passes that are normally catchable. No leadership causes everyone to give up. I know, I've played on a football team with a quarterback that nobody respected.

It's time for the Texans to unhitch the wagon from David Carr. Obviously the team needs improvement in 15 of the 22 positions on the field (maybe more), but the glaring weakness on this team is at quarterback. Fix that problem first.

Bagwell Retires

2006-12-15T19:22:00.000-05:00

Houston Astro Jeff Bagwell announced his retirement today.

Bagwell played for the Astros for 15 seasons. He is the team leader in home runs, RBIs and extra base hits.

Bagwell, along with Craig Biggio, did something that is almost unthinkable in sports today; he played his entire career for one team. This yankee boy from Massachusetts came on down to Texas and made this place his home. He always did great things for the community and has said many times that Houston is now his home.

I grew up watching Bagwell and Biggio play, and they will forever be #1 in my heart for what they have done for my city, both on the field and off. I grew up watching these guys play ball, and while it will be sad the day their numbers are retired, at the same time it will bring back all the great memories that Astros fans have had over the last 15 years.

Houston would not be the same without Jeff Bagwell, and he will forever be one of my two favorite athletes, with Biggio being the other. Heres to a first ballot Hall-of-Famer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for 15 great seasons Jeff.

Embarrassed to Be a Texans Fan

2006-12-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

I thought I would be over it after four days.

A long time ago, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal juggling my favorite NFL team and my favorite football player in a long time. But after seeing Vince Young's 39-yard touchdown run for the 40th time on TV, I just can't take it anymore.

I think I'm done with my financial support of the Texans. My parents have already decided not to renew our season tickets for next year. My #8 David Carr jersey? I'm planning on it to find the fire sometime over this Christmas break.

But every time I see Vince Young rip his helmet off after defeating Houston, it just makes me sick thinking about what could have been.

I can't take it anymore. This is my big F-YOU to Texans owner Bob McNair. You could have taken the hometown kid who was already a football hero to over half of your state. You would have won millions of fans who never even thought about rooting for your team. You might have become more popular than the Cowboys.

Oh yeah, you also would have drafted a quarterback that would take your team to the Super Bowl.

Instead, you have made millions of Texans hate your team. You're going to be seeing 15,000 empty seats for every game (except when Vince comes to town). You're not going to sell any jerseys. You know who is going to sell jerseys in Houston? Bud Adams will be selling #10 Vince Young jerseys. Never thought you'd be hearing that.

Oh yeah, and your quarterback is David Carr. A guy who threw the ball away after he crossed the line of scrimmage. Twice. In one game.

This is the point that I am cutting off my financial support of your team. Until you show me that you are committed to winning and you can hire a front office that doesn't have it's head up its ass, I will not spend another dime on anything Texans. I'll still watch, probably because I'm a masochist.

Oh wait, I can't watch. They show the Titans in Austin.

Astros Acquire Jennings From Rockies

2006-12-13T21:59:00.000-05:00

The Houston Astros announced Tuesday that they acquired starting pitcher Jason Jennings and reliever Miguel Ascencio from the Colorado Rockies.

In return, the Rockies will receive center fielder Willy Taveras and two young pitching prospects, Jason Hirsch and Taylor Buchholz.

The move appears to be the Astros' way of moving on from Andy Pettitte, who signed a 1 year, $16 million contract with the New York Yankees on Friday.

The move does shore up the Astros' rotation a bit. Jennings, who posted his career best ERA at 3.78 last season, does bring some experience to a rotation that will be reeling with the loss of Pettitte and with Roger Clemens playing his usual games. Ascencio should actually bolster the pen as well.

The big problem is that the Astros overpaid. Including Taveras in the deal is fine. Although he is a speedster and has great range in center field, he just never seemed to develop into the leadoff and base stealing threat that 'Stros fans thought he could be, although yours truly thinks that it wouldn't have hurt if someone taught him to dive back into first base headfirst.

The golden rule of GMs in baseball is that you never trade your top pitching prospect. That is exactly what the Astros did by throwing Hirsch into the deal. While Buchholz seemed expendible, Hirsch is the real deal. Although he has seen a small sample size in the bigs, he absolutely dominated the opposition at ever level he pitched at. Unfortunately, pitching in the thin air may never allow Hirsch to reach his full potential, even with humidifiers.

Speaking of the thin air, you never know what you are getting when you pick up a former Colorado pitcher. Jennings had an ERA of 3.78 last season, but it was his first season with an ERA under 4.50. He has never won more than 12 games in a season.

The thing that really bugs me about the deal though is that Jennings will be a free agent after this year. With the Astros typically not being the team to be the highest bidder on free agents (this season being the exception), if Jennings does have a breakout year the Astros will lose their chance of keeping him long term. Multiple sources have said that Jennings is a hothead, and that he had already turned down a long term contract paying $9 million/year from the Rockies. If he heads to the Juicebox and puts up career numbers, you can bet that Jennings will demand $12 million/year. If he stinks up the joint than you may not want to resign him anyway.

If either of those scenarios come true, and I could see them happening, then the Astros just traded at 24-year old center fielder with two years of Major League experience and 24- and 25-year old pitching prospects for a starting pitcher that noone is completely sure about. Even if Jennings has a decent year and the Astros can resign him, that is still quite a price to pay for an unproven commodity.

Texas-OU Weekend in Dallas

2006-10-03T14:25:00.000-04:00

Just three days away from my favorite time of the year. Yes, I love this more than Christmas day, spring break and MLB's opening day.

It is almost time for the Texas-OU game at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.

I'll probably break down the actual game sometime, but I will start off the festivities with this doosie about the weekend. I wish I could take credit for this beacause it is hilarious, and actually true (despite being a little exaggerated.)

Proper Etiquite at UT/OU Weekend

1. Secure a date. You must be discriminating. She can make or break your weekend. The attributes you seek are attractiveness, coolness and a general willingness to have multiple depravities visited upon her in a La Quinta hotel somewhere off of the interstate. She should remain smiling and cheerful as you engage in drunken brawls, vomit in her purse and lose your student ID on game day. Daughters of football coaches, chicks from small towns in West Texas, women who work with the mentally retarded and old steady girlfriends are excellent candidates for OU weekend. There’s nothing more sublime than laying your head in a girl’s lap while she holds ice to your eye and listens to your drunken rambles about how OU weekend resembles China’s Cultural Revolution, that a tiger shark could defeat a saltwater crocodile in a fight and that you would someday like to be nicknamed “Johnny Waterski.” Every now and then you should say,”Aaaah. Baby, I’m so sorry about your purse…and the fights….and for headbutting that cop’s horse in the balls…” At this point, she should sigh and pat you sympathetically. She should also smell nice.

2. The Drive. Locate a friend with an SUV. Make him drive. Serves him right, rich little bastard. Now you and your date can sit in the back, drink vodka and Gatorade, and, along with his date, make fun of his driving. The chicks must be told in no uncertain terms that no, they most certainly cannot listen to Ricky Martin or Bono and that Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffett will be just fine. You should stop in a gas station in Hillsboro and purchase beef jerky and pork rinds. Wiping your hands on your date’s hair is gauche. What do you think the upholstery is for?

3. The Drinking. Quarter pitchers at the Across the Street Bar. This establishes a steady-state baseline drunkenness that you can count on throughout the night. This is topped off with jagermeister shots. Jagermeister, though a foul cough syrup, is well documented for its ability to make you into a complete ass who believes that even the gravest of social offenses are extremely clever good fun. Fortunately for you, your drunken audience also believes this. At this point in the night, a girl from Houston Memorial named Missy or Mitzy or Traci (with an “i”) will probably become sick. Ask your date to hold her hair for her in the bathroom. It’s simple courtesy.

4. The Fighting. The guys in your group should walk from bar to bar in the West End taking up as much space on the sidewalk as possible. The OU guys coming towards you (who are doing the exact same thing) should be met head on—slipping a shoulder or saying excuse me as you stubbornly collide is bad form. When your shoulders inevitably meet both parties should act incredibly aggrieved and put upon by the arrogant bastard who bumped them. Witty repartee like “**** ***” should be exchanged. As soon as this heard a crowd will magically appear and a brawl will ensue. Girlfriends shriek, bottles are thrown, people throw ludicrous haymakers that miss by a country mile and the cops arrive in force in about a minute and a half. Then you and Cletus, the OU guy, both have to pretend you weren’t fighting while you put your arms around each others shoulder in congenial fashion. We were just wrasslin’ you explain. Our bloody noses? I don’t know. It’s pretty dry weather, officer. Do you have some chapstick? Later, you try to take a cab back to the La Quinta but you can’t remember which hotel you’re staying at. Everyone keeps bitching at your date: “Hey, I thought you were from Dallas…where are we?” Finally she confesses: “I’m from Plano alright? We never traveled past the strip mall because we might run into minorities or something. I’ve never actually been to Dallas.” The kids from Houston suburbs nod knowingly while the Austin people exhange weirded out looks. After the third hotel, and as Akbar the cab driver grows increasingly angry, you recognize a certain Denny’s and you all rejoice that you’re home. After another fifteen minutes of trying various rooms (221, 122, 121, anything with 1’s and 2’s in it) you can finally relax. After a shower, you may attempt bouncey-bouncey with your date if you’re, ahem, up to it. Passing out on top of her in flagrante delecto is considered bad manners. I personally don’t see the big deal.

5. The Game. Half the crowd in orange; half the crowd in crimson. Sooners walk around with upside down Horns and you see thousands of RV people wearing muu muu’s, suspenders and Sooner Nation t-shirts. They scream a lot but you can’t really understand them. You should sneak in a flask of Jim Beam. After the game you see Cletus, the fightin’ Sooner from the West End, and you both greet each other as long lost pals. He’s staying at the La Quinta too. Y’all hang out that night and he’s a great guy. Pity you had punch him for deciding to go to OU.

Major League Division Series Preview

2006-10-03T12:57:00.000-04:00

By: Adam Bielamowicz

October has arrived. The air will be getting colder (at least in most of the country), the leaves will be changing and, most importantly, the MLB playoffs, which get underway in New York today, are here.

This year’s version of the postseason looks to be one of the most interesting in years. In the American League there are some familiar faces such as the New York Yankees, and some newcomers to the playoff scene, like the Detroit Tigers. Will the newcomers shock the nation, or will postseason experience be the key to advancing to the Fall Classic?

In the National League, the New York Mets have been by far the best team in the league, but have been on cruise control since clinching the division nearly two weeks ago. Will the Mets continue to dominate despite sleepwalking through the last two weeks, or will one of the NL West teams that have been playing great baseball as of late continue their hot streaks throughout the postseason? Here are the breakdowns of all four Division Series matchups, with predictions of who will advance to the Championship Series.

Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees

This matchup pits a veteran Yankees squad that has advanced to the postseason every year since 1995 against a young Tigers team that has been struggling as of late, losing five in a row and losing the top spot in the AL Central.

Facing the Yankees in the first round may seem like an insurmountable task for Detroit, but they are not quite as young a team as you would thing; four players in the starting lineup have playoff experience, including C Ivan Rodriguez and 1B Sean Casey, as well as starting pitcher Kenny Rogers. Add to the fact that the Yankees starting rotation has been shaky all year, and you see the potential for the Tigers to put some runs on the board.

However, the key to this series is how well the Tigers’ rotation can hold up against the Yankees’ All-World lineup, which is finally healthy. Three of Detroit’s starters, Nate Robertson, Jeremy Bonderman and Justin Verlander have no playoff experience. It would be a long shot to see them last against possibly the best offensive lineup ever, which includes Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Bobby Abreu, Johnny Damon, Jason Giambi and several other All-Stars in their starting lineup.

This could be one of the few playoff series that could be decided offensively rather than with pitching. Look for the Yankees to outscore the Tigers in this one and take this series in four.

Oakland Athletics vs. Minnesota Twins

This intriguing series will be a battle between teams with payrolls in the bottom half of MLB, an anomaly in a league where the more you spend usually translates to the more you win. Add to this the fact that neither of these teams has advanced past the first round recently, and you start to see how competitive this one will be.

Both team’s starting rotations are top heavy, with Barry Zito leading the A’s and Johan Santana being the ace in the Twins’ staff. They take a step down after that, with Dan Haren and Boof Bonser having holding the number two spots in their respective teams’ rotations. The aces on the staffs must pitch well in game one to set an example for the rest of the pitching staff.

Offensively, the Twins look to have a much better lineup than the A’s. Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau have both been swinging hot bats for the Twins, and Joe Mauer finished the season with a .347 average. The A’s did not have a single player in their starting lineup hit over .300.

Watch for Santana to throw a spectacular game one on Wednesday to give the Twins momentum. It will be a hard fought series, but the raucous Metrodome home-field advantage and the magic of the Homer Hankie will carry the Twins to a win in five games.

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. New York Mets

This series is a tale of two entirely different teams. The Dodgers are the hottest team in baseball, having won nine of their last ten games to earn the NL Wild Card. The Mets, while they have not played horribly, have not played a meaningful game since clinching the NL East on Sept. 19.

The Mets will be without staff ace Pedro Martinez, and number two starter Tom Glavine’s health is also in question. Meanwhile, the Dodgers’ staff is solid, with Derek Lowe, Greg Maddux and Brad Penny pitching solid for Los Angeles as of late.

Offensively, the Mets look to put up some big numbers on the back of David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado and Jose Reyes. The Dodgers have been hitting the ball well as of late with J.D. Drew finishing the season with 100 RBIs and Nomar Garciaparra looking more like the Nomar from Boston every day.

Common sense would tell me to take the Mets, who won 97 games this year. However they have cooled down as of late, going 9-11 in their last 20 games. The Dodgers, meanwhile, have won 13 games during the same stretch. Los Angeles’ pitching stacks up well against the Mets’ lineup, and they will derail all hopes for a subway series by upsetting the Mets in five games.

St. Louis Cardinals vs. San Diego Padres

This is another case of one team that is streaking and one team that is reeling. The Padres, under intense pressure from the Dodgers, won 8 of their last 10 games to win the NL West. The Cardinals, meanwhile, went 9-16 in their last 25 games and barely were able to hold off the Houston Astros to win the NL Central.

On paper, the Cardinals look to be the better team, with Albert Pujols’ presence in the lineup and Chris Carpenter vying for the Cy Young award this season. However, the Cardinals have not been performing well as of late, with the starting rotation blowing up during their last month and the offense failing to perform as well.

The Padres, meanwhile, have a solid starting rotation with Jake Peavy, Chris Young and Woody Williams, despite having an offense that does not pack much punch. This should give them an advantage with home field advantage in the friendly confines of Petco Park.

The Cardinals have not been playing good ball lately, and they are 34-47 on the road this season. With the Padres having home field advantage, they look to be the favorites in this series. They should win this one in four games.

Longhorns Defeat UNT, Look Towards Ohio State

2006-09-03T16:47:00.000-04:00

All summer, anyone who paid any attention to Texas football looked immediately past the first game of the season and started talking about the Longhorns' anticipated matchup against Ohio State.

Now the team can concentrate on that game as well.

The defending national champions showed up strong, defeating the North Texas Mean Green 56-7 Saturday in Austin. The win puts Texas at 1-0 and extends their winning streak, currently the nation's longest, to 21 games.

It also allowed the #2 ranked Longhorns to start preparing to what many believe will be the biggest game of the entire season: their matchup next Saturday against the number one ranked team in the nation, the Ohio State Buckeyes.

Texas dominated the Mean Green all over the field Saturday. Texas' offense wreaked havoc on the Mean Green defense, gaining 409 total yards and converting 30 first downs. The defense also contributed to making the game a laugher, giving up just 54 total yards to the overmatched North Texas Offense.

Saturday's game also saw the debut of Texas' starting quarterback for the 2006 season: redshirt freshman Colt McCoy.

McCoy impressed Saturday afternoon, throwing a 60 yard touchdown pass on the third play of the game to Limas Sweed. He would go on to throw tow more touchdown passes and running for another. McCoy would end up going 12 of 17 for 177 yards, and while a few mistakes were made, definitely did not look like a freshman making his first start, instead looking capable of delivering the ball to the Longhorns' talented receivers.

Sweed also had a banner day for the 'Horns, catching 5 balls for 111 yards and two touchdowns.

Texas did not just throw all over the Mean Green, however. The Longhorns' rushing attack accounted for 212 yards. Jamaal Charles led the way with 77 yards on 14 carries and one touchdown. Selvin Young gained 44 yards on 12 carries with another score.

All in all, Texas passed the first test of the season with flying colors, and now the eyes of the entire nation will shift to Austin Saturday for what should be an exciting sequel to last year's matchup in Columbus, which Texas won 25-22. The winner of Saturday's game should no doubt have the inside track to the national championship.

Texas Selects McCoy As Starting Quarterback

2006-08-28T17:55:00.002-04:00

Texas has picked the successor to Vince Young.

Redshirt freshman Colt McCoy will start at quarterback for the Longhorns, head coach Mack Brown said Monday.

McCoy will be the first freshman to start a season opener at Texas since Shea Morenz, and just the fourth freshman to start since Brown took over at Texas in 1998, joining Major Applewhite (1998), Chris Simms (1999) and Young (2003).

"Greg Davis is the best there is at developing quarterbacks, and we've had a great deal of success when we've had to play freshmen here," Brown said in a statement released by the school. "He has Colt really prepared as we head into the season, and I think he'll put him in a position for our offense to continue the success we've had the last several years."

McCoy was a star at Tuscola's Jim Ned High School, where he went 34-2. He threw for 9,344 yards in high school.

McBoy beat out true freshman Jevan Snead, a Parade All-American from Stephenville, Texas.

Texas Selects McCoy As Starting Quarterback

2006-08-28T17:55:00.001-04:00

2006-08-28T17:55:00.000-04:00

Astros Sucumb to Usual Woes

2006-08-16T01:49:00.000-04:00

It is 12:43 in the morning on Wednesday August 16. (By the way, happy birthday Paul.) Any Astros fans who also happen to be creatures of the night have just suffered through a disappointing five and a half hour marathon.

For a second it felt like the best win of the year for the Astros. Although Roger Clemens was not up to form and the Astros fell behind early 5-2, Houston had managed to claw its way back with a four run rally in the sixth inning to carry a 6-5 lead into the bottom of the ninth.

I should have figured that nothing good could come out of Aggie night at Minute Maid Park. Sure enough, the Astros started to play like the Aggies would against Baylor.

Actually, they started playing like the 2006 Houston Astros.

Brad Lidge came on to hold the one run lead in the ninth. He responded by going ahead on the Chicago Cubs' Matt Murton 0-2, then giving up a solo home run to left field, good for his fifth blown save of the season, not making it out of the ninth inning and padding his already massive 5.70 ERA going into Tuesday's matchup.

What ensued was not only what we have been seeing all year in the Bayou City, but also what will make me regret wanting to grab a few beers at the B.U.S. before Wednesday's 1:05 PM start.

The Astros offense started squandering opportunities. Bases loaded with one out in the bottom of the tenth. Runners on first and second with no outs in the bottom of the twelfth. In the nine extra innings of baseball played, the leadoff man reached base in five of those innings. However, the Astros managed to do a great job of stranding every single one of those runners on base.

Despite a heroic relief pitching performance by Dave Borkowski, he would pitch the last six innings of the ballgame, he would get tagged with the loss by giving up two runs in the top of the 18th. With one out and runners on the corners, Phil Garner pulls the infield in. My baseball instincts would tell me that if a double play can get me out of the inning unscathed, then my infield should be sitting in double play depth. Sure enough, Chicago infielder Ronny Cedeno hit a perfect double play ball to Morgan Ensberg at third base. With nobody to cover second, the only play was at first base for the second out. After an intentional walk to Michael Barrett, Murton delivered again with a two run single that put the Cubs up for good.

That was not Garner's first managerial mistake of the night. The first one came around the top of the ninth inning, when Lidge entered the game in a save situation.

I know this may not sound like it has that much of a point, as I am mostly ranting at 1:10 in the morning. But I actually do have a point.

This game should solidify the fact that the Astros just do not have it this year. Teams with it do not lose two series to the Chicago Cubs in two weeks in August. Teams with it do not blow a lead in the top of the ninth that they had to work so hard to reclaim.

The Astros had actually looked like a good ballclub for the past couple of weeks, actually winning 8 of 10 and getting within 1.5 games of Cincinnatti's wild card lead. However, just as I was sipping the Astros' Kool Aid again, they kept me up with indegestion until 12:40 in the morning when I unfortunately vomited that Kool Aid back up.

We are through Houston. The Astros have no closer, an offense that can not even hit a sacrifice fly and a manager that does not make the logical decisions.

It is doubtful that the Astros can turn it around, but in order to, there is no doubt that Dan Wheeler needs to be the go to guy in the ninth inning. With that change, that gives the Astros only a slim chance to make the playoffs for the third year in a row. Even if that happens, however, Texans probably will have to start thinking about football season a little earlier than they are used to.

Ohio State #1 In Coaches' Poll, Texas #2

2006-08-04T12:42:00.000-04:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/rankings?pollId=2&seasonYear=2006&weekNumber=1

Despite losing nine defensive starters, including all three linebackers to the NFL Draft, NCAA football coaches have voted Ohio State the preseason number one team in the nation.

However, the Buckeyes return nearly everyone on offense, including quarterback Troy Smith and wide receiver/kick returner Ted Ginn Jr.

Coming in second are the defending national champion Texas Longhorns. The Longhorns did lose quarterback Vince Young from the team that defeated USC 41-38 in the Rose Bowl, but the Longhorns return 17 starters and, despite starting an inexperienced quarterback, look to again be one of the most talented teams in the nation.

The Buckeyes and the Longhorns will meet in Austin, Texas on September 9 in what will surely be a matchup between the #1 and #2 teams in the nation.

Notre Dame and USC are tied for third with 1,348 points apiece. The Fighting Irish are entering their second season under coach Charlie Weis, while the Trojans begin life without quarterback Matt Leinart and running back Reggie Bush, the last two Heisman winners. These two teams meet on November 25 in Los Angeles.

The Oklahoma Sooners are ranked fifth in the poll, but these votes came in before Wednesday's announcement that starting quarterback Rhett Bomar was kicked off of the team after receiving illegal payments.

Auburn, which is the highest ranked SEC team, is sixth, while West Virginia, Florida, Louisiana State and Florida State complete the top 10.

Bomar Released From Sooners' Squad

2006-08-04T12:27:00.000-04:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2537332

Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops has announced that senior Paul Thompson will be named starting quarterback for the fall workouts.

Thompson had beaten out Bomar for the starting quarterback position last season, but after a season opening loss to TCU, Stoops named Bomar the quarterback and moved Thompson to wide receiver.

The move appeared to pan out as Bomar set an Oklahoma record for passing yards by a freshman and Thompson was an effective receiver for the Sooners.

Although the Sooners have a great defense coming back, Bomar was to be counted on to relieve pressure from Adrian Peterson, the team's Heisman contending tailback. Without a solid quarterback and an offensive line that is very inexperienced, look for OU to have trouble moving the football this season.

Bomar's dismissal should definitely open up the door for Texas to win their second straight Big XII Championship.

Astros Make Right Move, Make No Move

2006-07-31T18:38:00.000-04:00

Going into the MLB trade deadline at 3:00 PM CST Monday, the Astros were mentioned in numerous trade rumors.

In the morning, they were supposed to be among the top bidders for Miguel Tejada and Alfonso Soriano. San Diego reliever Scott Linebrink was also mentioned as a possible addition. According to ESPN, Astros' owner Drayton McLane "ordered" GM Tim Purpura to trade Brad Lidge, and 30 minutes later the same source said that Lidge was "not being traded" (which makes you wonder about the credibility of ESPN's sources.) Starting pitcher Roy Oswalt was also rumored to have been included in a possible deal.

But, when 3:00 PM came around, the Astros had not pulled a trigger on a single deal, and that was the best decision made by the front office all year.

Face it Astros fans, but this season is over. It hurts me to say it just as much as it hurts you to read it, but the Astros need to start thinking about 2007 at this instant. If you were watching the disastrous weekend series against Arizona, you will probably agree with me. This team just does not have the heart or the talent to do it. The Astros are worse at the fundamentals then almost any other baseball team I have ever seen. Too many veterans that were key members of last year's World Series team have underachieved.

Getting Soriano for two or three prospects would not have helped. His contract would be up at the end of this season, and with Soriano having no roots in Houston, not to mention the fact that the Astros are never the highest bidder, the chances of him helping in the long run were small.

Miguel Tejada would have had a better chance of helping, but still would have been a shot in the dark. Although he has two seasons remaining on his contract, Tejada has been in the league long enough to where he could demand a trade at the end of this season if he wanted out of Houston. I can not say whether he would demand it or not, but the possibility tells you not to shell out top prospects for what could be a two-month stay on a team that will not be competing in September.

What the Astros need to do is say that next year is here. They need to start working on fixing the problems of this year. We must know what is going on in Brad Lidge's head. Maybe the leak of demanding he be traded will give him a clue that a 5.74 ERA has not; that he needs to get his act together. Morgan Ensberg also has had a disappointing season just one year removed from being named team MVP. The Astros need to make sure he is not a one-hit wonder.

The Astros need to look at some of their younger talent. Starting pitcher Jason Hirsch is 12-2 with a 2.03 ERA at AAA Round Rock. Outfielder Hunter Pence is hitting .296 with 24 home runs, 24 doubles and 79 RBIs. These two prospects need to be brought up and put into Major League games. They could be the future stars of this team. We need to know if they are for real.

The Astros also must sign at least one, if not two, free agent sluggers this offseason. The offense has been anemic the last two seasons. Improvement is needed. Plus, they will most likely be without Roger Clemens', Jeff Bagwell's and Andy Pettitte's contracts after this season. That should leave enough room to make a big splash in the free agent market, maybe for a catcher who can hit his weight or a left fielder who can play a caram off of a wall and not strike out 93 times in 100 games.

It feels weird to say it because it is not something we have had to say about the Astros very much, but the Astros should be playing for 2007. If the 'Stros get some kinks worked out with the rest of this season and make one or two key additions, next season will be a great one.

Brewers to Add Chorizo

2006-07-27T21:58:00.000-04:00

Chorizo, a tasty Mexican sausage, will join fellow meaty friends Hot Dog, Bratwurst, Polish and Italian as the newest member of the Klement's Famous Racing Sausages team at Miller Park.

Chorizo, who will be adorned with a sombrero and decked out in red, green and white, will be formally introduced on Thursday at a press conference at Miller Park.

Latino community leaders had lobbied the Brewers and Klement's to add a Mexican mascot. The unveiling is in conjunction with Cerveceros Day, set for Saturday night at Miller Park.

The addition of a 5th Klement's Racing Sausage should provide Klement's and the Brewers with new marketing and promotional opportunities, especially in the growing Latino community.

In the heat of the pennant race, I like this move for the Brewers. Nothing makes my hangover better than some chorizo migas, and it is good for this sausage that is highly popular in Texas but not well known around the rest of our nation to get some recognition as a fine pork product.

White Sox Make Move, Eye Soriano

2006-07-24T19:39:00.000-04:00

Last season, Chicago White Sox General Manager Ken Williams stood pat at the trading deadline. His patience led to the Sox' first World Series title in over 80 years.

This season, Williams is shaking things up for Chicago's quest for two in a row, as the White Sox made one move Monday and are reportedly close to acquiring possibly the best hitter on the trading block.

The White Sox traded with the Kansas City Royals Monday for relief pitcher Mike MacDougal in exchange for minor league pitchers Tyler Lumsden and Daniel Cortes.

MacDougal was activated off the 60-day disabled list following the All-Star break after missing the first half of the season with a strained right shoulder.

In four games for the Royals this year, the 29-year-old right-hander had allowed two hits in four scoreless innings with one save. He has 50 career saves with a record of 10-14 and a 3.88 earned run average in six seasons. MacDougal will likely become the setup man for White Sox closer Bobby Jenks.

In addition, ESPN's Tim Kurkjian reported that the White Sox are "extremely close" to making a deal with the Washington Nationals for outfielder Alfonso Soriano. The Nationals reportedly have interest in White Sox pitcher Brandon McCarthy.

Soriano joined Washington last offseason in a trade from Texas, and the Nationals shifted him from second base to left field. Soriano is batting .288 with 31 homers, 62 RBI and 25 steals.

Soriano, who is scheduled to become a free agent at the end of the season, said Sunday he wanted to remain in Washington but doubted he and the Nationals could agree to a contract extension before the deadline.

The five-time All-Star said he spoke with incoming Nationals president Stan Kasten on Thursday, but they did not discuss contract details. Soriano added that he does not think his agent, Diego Bentz, has discussed numbers with the Nationals either.

The main thing keeping Soriano from resigning with the Nationals is a no-trade clause. Soriano wants one included in his contract, but Kasten said that he refused to included them in other contracts that he has negotiated in recent years as an executive with the Atlanta Braves, Hawks and Thrashers.

Saints' Bush Contemplates Holdout

2006-07-24T17:27:00.000-04:00

According to Yahoo Sports' Jason Cole, NFL sources have said that the New Orleans Saints' first round selection Reggie Bush not only will hold out of training camp, but he will consider sitting out the 2006 season and entering the 2007 draft if he does not get his price.

According to the Yahoo! story, Bush would not have a problem sitting out should he decided to do so. He reportedly has $5 million in the bank from several endorsement deals that he has done since leaving the University of Southern California after his junior year.

This would be a boneheaded decision for Bush to make, and would certainly mean disaster to the New Orleans Saints.

Bush, who has been offered a contract worth around $26 million, would go through a public relations nightmare should he sit on the couch in 2006. When the Saints drafted him in the 2006 draft, Bush stated that he wanted to "help rebuild New Orleans."

Saints fans responded, buying 15,000 season tickets in the weeks after he was selected, bringing the total sold to over 55,000 for 2006. That number is the highest number of season tickets ever sold in New Orleans, which just ten months ago was completely ravaged by Hurricane Katrina.

Should Bush not sign with the Saints, the situation will be a disaster that the Saints will never recover from in New Orleans. Saints' owner Tom Benson is already not very well liked in the City amidst constant threats to move the team if a new stadium is not built. It is no secret that both he and the NFL would like the team to move to either Los Angeles or San Antonio. After Katrina, New Orleans residents have had very little to cheer about, and are looking forward to the Saints bringing the city back together after the horrific disaster, and Bush has been advertised as the face of the franchise.

If Benson does not sign Bush, there is no doubt that the city will be against him almost 100 percent.

On second thought, I have never been much of a conspiracy theorist, but could Benson purposely not sign Bush in order to have more of a reason to bolt for a market that would be deemed more lucrative?

Even if Bush does end up signing with the Saints, he will be quite a bit less popular. Hundreds of thousands of people that were left with nothing in the aftermath of Katrina might find it somewhat hard to root for someone who thought that $26 million was not enough.

Either way, this is looking to be a bad situation in the Crescent City. Bush needs to get this settled as soon as possible so as to avoid any possible ill will with his future fans.

Bush may think he is making a good decision, but this is definitely not a Heisman winning decision. This is a lateral in the Rose Bowl decision.

Reds and Nationals Complete Eight Player Deal

2006-07-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

BREAKING NEWS

The Washington Nationals began what could be an interesting youth movement Thursday when they made an eight player deal, acquiring outfielder Austin Kearns, shortstop Felipe Lopez and right-hander Ryan Wagner from the Reds in exchange for relievers Gary Majewski, Bill Bray and Daryl Thompson, infielder Brendan Harris and shortstop Royce Clayton.

For the Nationals, Kearns and Lopez will report with the team in Pittsburg on Friday, while Wagner will be sent to AAA New Orleans. For the Reds, Majewski, Clayton and Bray are expected to report to Cincinnati for tomorrow's game against the Colorado Rockies. Harris will report to Class AAA Louisville and Thompson to Sarasota in the Gulf Coast League.

This deal should benefit the Nationals in the long run. Lopez was the man they wanted, and they were willing to shell out some great prospects for him. In addition, Austin Kearns was a great pickup as well. A change of scenery should help him, as he has always been lost in the shadows of the crowded Reds outfield that includes Ken Griffey Jr. and Adam Dunn. Wagner will also have a new opportunity to fix up his career which has gone awry since a spectacular debut campaign in 2004.

This is a deal that should work out well for the Reds. Majewski and Bray have both been solid pitchers out of the bullpen and both have ERAs under 4.00. This should help shore up a bullpen that has an ERA of 5.32 and has blown 13 saves this season. Because Lopez was who the Nationals wanted and Juan Castro has been struggling this year, Clayton will take over at shorstop for the Reds. The prospects recieved were among the best in the Nationals system, with Harris, Bray and Thompson being the 5th, 6th and 7th ranked Nationals' prospects according to Baseball America.

This deal definitely improves both teams. The Nationals have acquired a couple of fairly young players that have put up good seasons that they can build around for next season. The Reds have picked up some very effective help for the biggest hole on their team, the bullpen. With Majewski and Bray, the Reds should be holding on to more leads in the second half of the season. If they keep bashing the ball, they will be players in the NL Central race until the final days.

Astros Fire Gaetti, Hire Berry

2006-07-13T17:00:00.000-04:00

BREAKING NEWS

The Houston Astros today fired hitting coach Gary Gaetti and hired former Astro Sean Berry to take his place on an interim basis.

Gaetti, who has been in the Astros organization since 2002, looks to be the main man to take the blame for the team's lack of offensive production the past two seasons. In addition to being 24th in MLB in runs scored in 2005, the Astros this season are tied for last in the NL with a .256 team batting average, are 23rd in MLB with 408 runs scored and are 19th in MLB with 391 RBIs.

It is hard to say whether Berry will have any kind of impact on the Astros' offense, but Gaetti definitely was not getting the job done. Yes, it does fall on the players to perform, but with 2005 team MVP Morgan Ensberg slumping at .236, Jason Lane hitting a paltry .205 and Willy Taveras coming down with Willy Mays Hayes syndrome and hitting the ball in the air too often, there is no doubt that the hitting coach bears some responsibility for the lack of punch in the Astros' offense.

If this deal does anything, this move, as well as the trade for Aubrey Huff and the demotion of Lane to AAA Round Rock, tells Astros hitters that they need to shape up soon or more changes will be made.

"After getting the deal done for Huff, we thought it would make a strong statement," Astos GM Tim Purpura said. "How do we drive it home with our hitters? We can't wait for Aubrey Huff to just come in and save the day. We need to make a change here, and put players on notice that there is expectation here. We want a fresh perspecitve, a changing of the guard."

"We need a fresh perspective, a new point of view."

That fresh perspective, according to Purpura, is Berry, one of the original Killer B's from the mid nineties. Berry hit .283 with 39 home runs and 190 RBIs during three seasons at third base for the Astros from 1996-98 and helped the Astros win division titles in 1997 and 1998. Berry posted his best season with Houston in 1996, when he hit .281 with 17 home runs and 95 RBIs.

Astros Make First Move

2006-07-13T11:12:00.000-04:00

It is July, which means that the race for the few good players on the ten or so teams not in contention will begin to heat up.

The first team to make a move is the Houston Astros. They announced Wednesday that they had acquired Aubrey Huff and about $1.6 million from the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for two minor league prospects; pitcher Mitch Talbot and infielder Ben Zobrist.

This move should turn out to be wonderful for the Astros. They get a proven left-handed bat that is a career .287 hitter and has a career OPS of .810.

Huff has been hot lately. Since June 1, Huff has increased his average from .189 to .283 and his OBP from .293 to .348. He is hitting .433 with 5 HR and 15 RBI in his last 23 games. This gives the Astros three hot left handed bats in their order with Lance Berkman and Mike Lamb also tearing the cover off of the ball at the moment. Huff should give heavy hitter Berkman some protection in the lineup, but three left handed batters in a row in a lineup means that teams will have to use their "left handed specialist," who is usually a subpar pitcher, against these three late in the game, instead of having a right hander intentionally walk Berkman.

Also, Huff's upward swing should continue as he has been a second half player his entire career. in 2005, he hit .320 in July and .283 in August, in 2004 he hit .289 in July, .385 in August and .310 in September, and in 2003 he hit .294 in July, .359 in August and .302 in September after putting up lesser numbers in the first half of all three seasons. His career stats look like this:

AVG OBP SLG OPS
Pre All Star .273 .335 .442 .777
Post All-Star .303 .351 .515 .866

This should line up well with the Astros, who never seem to start playing good baseball until halfway through July.

Huff is also versatile. He can play 3B, 1B, LF and RF. This means that the Astros can play Huff in RF which keeps Mike Lamb's bat in the lineup at 3B and puts Berkman at 1B, which is where he should be after undergoing knee surgery 20 months ago. This should also be a slap in the face to 3B Morgan Ensberg, the 2005 team MVP who is currently hitting .236 and, after hitting .329 in April, hit .216 in May, .145 in June and is currently hitting .200 in July.

The move has forced the Astros to send RF Jason Lane to AAA Round Rock. Lane, who is batting .205 in 2006, has been the poster boy of the Astros' offensive struggles this season.

The Astros also did not have go give up an arm and a leg. According to Baseball America, Zobrist is ranked as the Astros' 16th best prospect and Talbot is ranked as the 26th best. The Astros were able to add a solid bat to the lineup without compromising the team's future by trading away top prospects.

However, probably the most exciting thing is what Astros General Manager Tim Purpura said at the press conference announcing the trade. Purpura said getting Huff was a "great first step" in making a push during the second half of the season. This means that the Astros are not yet done with any midseason acquisitions.

Who will it be? Names being thrown around are Miguel Tejada, Scott Linebrink, Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. Any of these players, or possibly any other solid bullpen arm, can and probably will be enough to turn this slumping team around and push them into the postseason.

The next month should be exciting for Astros fans.

World Cup Final Recap

2006-07-09T20:00:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, one billion people worldwide were supposed to tune in to the final game of the 2006 World Cup. That is one out of every six people on this entire planet. That is an astounding number of people to be watching one single event at one time.

I made sure that I would be one of those one billion people watching.

I had watched quite a few games in this World Cup, and over this year's tournament I became a bigger fan of the event. I did the same thing in 2002, when I set my alarm for 3 AM the summer before my senior year of high school to watch the US make their surprising run to the quarterfinals. Being in Europe during the World Cup in 1998 also gave me an interesting perspective of the game.

I am officially a US Soccer fan. I just ordered my US jersey on eBay (which saved me 35 bucks to get it there as opposed to buying at a store.) I might also become a Houston Dynamo fan. I have not decided on that one yet.

For the first time in my life, this World Cup has actually introduced me to a little bit of the strategy of the game. Plus, the fans in the stands are as passionate or possibly more passionate than fans of big-time college football programs.

Additionally, you have to love a game when you can tell your wife that you will take out the trash at the next commercial break and still be legitimately avoiding your chores 40 minutes later.

All of this said, however, there is just something about soccer that just does not sit right with me. And this one reason alone keeps soccer from becoming one of my favorite sports.

Soccer players are the biggest pansies I have ever seen in my entire life.

Soccer is nicknamed "The Beautiful Game," however there is absolutely nothing beautiful about some long-haired Italian falling to the ground crying and writhing in pain like he had just torn his ACL, cracked a couple of ribs and been kicked in the testicles all at the same time, then getting up five seconds later like nothing had happened.

The sad thing is, it is not like they even got the wind knocked out of them. They are just faking the injury to get a foul called.

It is about as low as a human being can get in my opinion. It shows a lack of sportsmanship and a lack of respect for the game.

You do not see anything like this in other sports. In football, baseball, basketball, hockey or any other sport, if you are down then you are in pain. You are hurt. Your fellow athletes in any of these sports would not respect anyone who fakes an injury for any reason. The only equivalent is flopping for a charge in basketball, and players like Karl Malone, Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili who have reputations for flopping also have reputations of being weak players and whiners.

However, in the Italy vs. US game, numerous Italy players rolled around on the field like their careers were over. The stretcher came out for Italians three times. One of these times, you can see at the bottom of the screen the Italian player climb off of the stretcher, grab a swig of water and jog back onto the field without a limp.

It seems to be done better on this side of the pond, however. In the same game, US star Brian McBride took a cheap elbow to the face from Daniele De Rossi and began to spout blood like the black knight in Monty Python's The Holy Grail. However, not one complaint was made and not one tear was shed. McBride got stitches on the sideline and toughed it out the rest of the game.

FIFA should do something about this problem. If a player is carried off of the field on the stretcher, he should have to sit for five or ten minutes. If it hurts their team, a player will be less likely to fake or overexaggerate an injury.

FIFA could even create a pink card to give to a player who faces an injury. Not only would they have to miss the next match, but this would also keep track of who are the biggest actors. League leaders in pink cards would have reputations as the biggest pansies in soccer.

Soccer seems like it is a great game, but if I am watching a sport, I want to watch real men play hard and act like gentlemen to try to win the game legitimately. If something were to be done about flopping in soccer, the sport would undoubtedly have one more big fan right here.

Unfortunately, I cannot find real men on the pitch. I will have to keep looking to the gridiron, the diamond and the hockey rink.

Here Is Something That Is Strange to See

2006-07-08T00:17:00.000-04:00

Definitely have not seen this anytime recently.

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=457540

To me it is just interesting to see that the Brewers will be trying to make a move to acquire a veteran before the trade deadline. Until this year, the Brewers had been one of those teams that was unloading their veterans at the trade deadline for prospects.

Now the Brewers, who are only 3 1/2 games behind St. Louis in the NL Central, are looking to grab a veteran to make a push for the playoffs.

Will this move work out for them if it goes through?

Probably not. The Brewers do not have the offense to make a serious run at the playoffs. They are in the bottom half of the league in batting average, RBIs and runs scored.

Plus, the competition is too good. The St. Louis Cardinals will finish the season strong. The Cards still have the most potent offense in the division. The Cincinnati Reds' surprise run has shown no signs of slowing down, and the Houston Astros, even though they have not looked impressive since April, have come back and won the Wild Card the last two seasons, and can be counted on to finish strong. Even with Maddux, the Brewers are looking at no better than a third place finish.

Howdy/Willis

2006-07-06T14:53:00.000-04:00

Howdy Folks!!!!!

Not sure there are many of you folks out there, but this is the Bvich Report, one of those neat blog thingies where I will comment on the sports world, although it may be very Longhorns and Astros centered, as my first post will be. I hope y'all enjoy!! Now it is time for business.

My first post ever will be about this:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/scorecard/07/05/truth.rumors.mlb/index.html

At first, I thought this was just Austin American-Statesman columnist Kirk Bohls just spouting rumors out of his butt, because it was the only mention I had heard of the Astros being interested in Willis. But something about this rumor showing up on CNN/SI makes one think that it would indeed be credible.

The deal seems far fetched, however.

It would be a great deal for the Astros. Imagine this for a starting rotation: Roy Oswalt, Dontrelle Willis, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte (who would have ever thought of Pettitte as a fourth starter) and Brandon Backe (assuming he returns soon after the All-Star break as has been speculated.) That would be an amazing rotation.

The Astros should probably look to improve the bullpen before the starting rotation, but this would help the bullpen in two ways. First of all, this pushes Fernando Nieve and Taylor Buchholz from the rotation and the bullpen, which would improve the pen. Also, adding Willis to the rotation would eat more innings and hopefully not force the Astros to use the bullpen as much. Willis is currently averaging more innings per start (6.83) than all but one Houston pitcher, Roy Oswalt.

At the same time, however, it seems like the Marlins would be asking for more than the players they have asked. Wandy Rodriguez will be a fine Major League pitcher, but he does not appear to have the stuff to one day be dominating, and Charlton Jimerson, while a decent hitter, has struck out 124 times in 320 ABs this season, and may never sniff the Major Leagues because of his tendency to swing at just about every pitch.

Of course, the reasons that this is far fetched are the reasons that Astros GM Tim Purpura should have made this deal yesterday if it is sitting on the table. The Astros would not be giving up great players, and Willis would improve the team as stated above.

More than likely, however, the Marlins would probably want the Astros to put one or both of AA outfielder Hunter Pence or AAA starting pitcher Jason Hirsh.